


Irreplaceable for me

by Chisa



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crushes, Injury, Light Angst, M/M, bonding moment, emotions are hard to deal with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-24 21:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17108444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chisa/pseuds/Chisa
Summary: Lance is injured.He and Keith share a moment, but after healing, Lance doesn't remember it.Keith takes it badly.





	Irreplaceable for me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArionSGW](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArionSGW/gifts).



"Lance? Can you hear me?"  
The Red Paladin waited anxiously for an answer. Only an even, whirring sound was filling the dim corridor. The voices of the earlier conversation and the traces from the battle had fallen behind closer to the Galra cruiser's bridge.

The answer lingered a few seconds too long but finally the radio inside his helmet buzzed alive.  
"I'm here…"  
Keith startled involuntary because the voice didn't sound like he had expected. It was too quiet, rather suffocated.  
"Are you alright? Where are you?"

Lance was clearly injured. It had been only a few moments ago when Lance had been in full health, firing his gun at Galra soldiers one at a time, protecting the other Paladins' backs, farther away from the heath of the battle. A blink of an eye later he had been already somewhere else. His confident promises had echoed against others' yells, until disturbance signals had made the communications shut off.  
Now that Pidge had managed to get the radio working again, Keith had expected the same tone answering like it had never been cut out, but the reality hit him without warnings.

"I live", Lance gave a laugh tiredly. "I'm somewhere near the engine room, in one of the corridors. Can't really explain better."  
"Wait there, I'm coming for you." Keith had already been on his way to the right direction, but now he accelerated his steps.  
"Sure. It's not like I could go anywhere."  
The chill went down on Keith's back, thinking what the other had really meant.

***

"Where are the others?" asked Lance almost immediately after Keith had rounded the corner.  
Founding Lance had been easy; The engine room had been full of chaos and clear tracks had led Keith to one of the corridors.

Normally Keith would have taken it otherwise. Lance would have had a sulky face, the reason for it being Keith's presence, and later he would have complained to Shiro about the leader's bad decision for sending Keith to him.  
Now the Red Paladin new that Lance was just worried. Like they had been unable to know where Lance was, he had also been separated from the others and didn't know the outcome of the battle.

"Shiro and Pidge are downloading the data from the main computer. Hunk left with Allura to gather other supplies. Coran is repairing the damage the lasers did to the Castle", Keith listed, his full attention on the other boy.

Lance was sitting on the floor, back against the wall and left hand covering his evidently wounded side. He had removed his helmet only a moment ago, now it lay abandoned next to him.  
On the other side of the corridor was a lone, dead Galra.

Keith approached the other carefully and kneeled next to him. Lance moved unwillingly his hand out of the way when the Red Paladin started to look the wound more closely. The action made Lance wince from pain.  
"Lance…"  
"It looks bad, doesn't it?"  
Keith breathed deeply and tried to force his voice stay calm although he felt his hands shaking.  
"Not really. Besides, it always looks worse than it really is, that's like a common knowledge."  
"Yeah, sure…"

Lance fell silent when Keith connected his radio through the spaceship.  
"Allura? Can you get an emergency pack to the engine room?"  
At the same time, he shifted the injured boy's position so that he was leaning against Keith rather than the cold wall and helped him press the wound.

After getting a promise from the princess that she would hurry, Keith removed his helmet and once again concentrated on observing the other's health. Lance didn't speak, only stared at the end of the corridor deep in thought.

The endless silence started to make Keith feel uneasy, until he couldn't take it any longer.  
"Why did you do it?" He couldn't keep the accusation out of his voice even though he had tried.

They had been in a difficult position.  
The nearby Galra ship had had information that Voltron had desperately needed, so they had decided to strike quickly. The attack had first gone as planned, there had maybe been more soldiers that they had anticipated, but they had nevertheless been near victory.  
But then Pidge had made an alarming remark. Someone had been messing up with the ship's engine, causing it being at a risk of overheating.  
They had all been too busy with fighting for their lives, unable to leave and prevent the inevitable explosion.  
Lance had been the only one.

They shouldn't have let him go alone. They should have found a better way.

Lance turned slowly to glance over his shoulder at Keith, unyielding.  
"I saved the day. You're welcome."  
Keith couldn't protest, but Lance seemed to realize that the other was not satisfied. He shrugged as well as he could.  
"I had to. We couldn't afford to lose that information." Lance was determined.  
"Yeah but going alone was too dangerous."  
"It was the only way! If I hadn't done it, he would have blown up the engine, maybe all of us with it", Lance gestured at the dead body. "So, I took the chance. And I did fine, so you have nothing to complain."  
Lance's voice was getting a little hysterical, trying to make his point, and Keith could feel him shaking against himself.  
But Keith was desperate as well, and answered with the same determination:  
"Do you call this 'fine'? Look at yourself!"  
"That's not the point. It's not like I'm irreplaceable."

Lance's comment seemed to freeze the air around them for a few, stretched seconds, before either of them could really process what he had said.  
Keith's answer was instinctive:  
"Shut up!"  
They both made a jump when the shout echoed all over.

Keith didn't know how he had let himself get to that point where he allowed his emotions slip past the mask. He wasn't angry at Lance, only at the situation they now were.  
Yet he didn't regret his words.

Keith couldn't see Lance's face, but he made a voice that sounded somewhat between a laugh and a cry.

Without thinking further, Keith circled his free hand around the other like a protecting shield. He breathed a few times deeply, trying to once again calm down.  
"I mean… You need to stop talking about yourself like that. You are an important part of the team. We need you. I…"  
He didn't finish the sentence, but there was a hint of an unsaid confession hanging in the air, and they were both aware of it.  
I need you.

Lance took a glimpse of Keith, confirming he was really there. Keith barely managed to notice the unsure expression before Lance had already turned away.  
The Blue Paladin had tears in his eyes.

It was weird to see Lance in that state of mind. Normally he looked always happy, flirted with anyone and anything that moved, and above all, acted very self-confident.  
Still, Keith had seen it, noticed from small signs, that it was not the reality. But he had never expected to end up in a situation where Lance would willingly reveal his insecurity.

Deep in thought, Keith almost missed what Lance said.  
"I'm sorry."  
Keith wasn't sure if Lance was apologizing to himself or to Keith.  
"It's alright…" he reassured.  
Because it would be. He would make sure that Lance would get his smile back.

Keith looked at the end of the corridor, but there was not yet any sign of Allura. She shouldn't be too far away.

When Lance's head dropped against Keith's shoulder, Keith felt like his heart skipped at least a one beat.  
"Lance? Stay with me."  
Lance's answer was feeble.  
"I'm right here. I'm just tired. Can't I take my beauty nap?"  
There was a piece of humor in the last sentence, but it didn't completely convince Keith. Lance seemed to notice that because Keith could sense a calming smile in the next words.  
"Don't worry. I know you'll take care of me…"

When Allura finally arrived running, Lance was already fast asleep.

***

The next three days felt like an eternity for Keith. The other Paladins, Allura and Coran, were all worried about Lance, but no one seemed to have a need to linger next the healing pod continuously like he did. Following the others' example, Keith tried to find himself something else to do. The only one that kept his thoughts under control was sparring on the training deck, and only when he was too tired to think anymore, could he finally fall asleep at night. But when he woke up early in the morning, was he again full of anxiety and couldn't help going to check on Lance once more.

When the time came for Lance to finally emerge from the healing pod, was Keith ready with Hunk to welcome their friend.

***

The healing pod beeped a couple of times before it slowly opened its doors. Lance yawned eyes closed when he sluggishly stepped out of the machine. Keith could feel his face heat up and the heart skip a beat, because the lazy grin on the other boy's face was so Lance-like.  
Hunk was fast beside Lance, but it was Keith the Blue Paladin glanced first.

The smile seemed to turn a little shy just for a moment before Hunk was already hugging his friend and asking:  
"Lance, are you feeling alright?"  
The boy laughed a little inside the tight grip while answering:  
"Like a new! That healing pot makes miracles."  
"Good."

Hunk released the hug and clapped happily Lance on the shoulder. Then his expression turned a little darker.  
"You frightened us all."  
Keith didn't like how the happiness around seemed to disappear so suddenly, like a balloon popping out of existence.  
Hunk was still talking.  
"Keith had to pick you up and carry back to the Castle. Said he already lectured you about your recklessness."  
Keith opened his mouth to not actually protest, but to say something to get the mood back up. But Lance looked so taken aback that Keith stopped to watch Lance pulling himself back together.  
With a face that Keith couldn't read anymore, Lance asked Hunk:  
"Did he? Can't really remember that."

That was not what Keith had expected.  
He felt confused. Maybe Lance was lying just because he didn't want to have this conversation with them right now. Keith would maybe have lied too.  
He had tried to avoid this kind of situation, which was the reason he had talked to the other Paladins at all. After all that had happened on the Galra ship between them, he hadn't wanted Lance to go through it all again.  
But he couldn't help but ask Lance, just to be sure.  
"You can't remember? Anything?"  
Lance only rolled his eyes.  
"Well, I can remember the battle and stuff, obviously."  
Keith scowled. At this moment he quite didn't appreciate Lance's jokes.

Lance seemed to realize Keith's thoughts because the grin widened. Oh, why did Lance need to make it worse…  
"What, were you worried?"  
Was it because Hunk was with them or just because he was getting irritated, but Keith grumbled before he could decide otherwise:  
"Of course not."  
Lance nodded firmly.

And just like that he turned back to Hunk.  
"Hey Hunk, do you have anything good waiting in the kitchen? How long has it been since I have eaten?"  
"Who do you think I am? Of course I have."

They started to walk towards the door leading out of the room. Keith just stood there dazed. He tried to review the conversation they just had had but couldn't really get the grasp of it.  
"Keith, are you coming?" Hunk asked at the door.  
"No, I have something else to do", was all Keith could mumble.  
"Okay, see you around."  
Hunk walked to the hallway the other boy right behind him.  
Lance didn't look back.

***

Everyone was happy to have Lance back. His jokes once again filled the Castle of Lions and not once got anyone irritated by them. Hunk was almost arranging a party with all the food he made, but then again, when did he not?  
They spend most of the day just hanging out in the lounge, talking late into the night until Shiro had to send them all out so they would go to sleep, relying on the fact that Lance had just got out from the cryo-pod.

Keith had felt down the whole day. He had left to his room far before the others, sure of the fact that no one paid much attention to it, as it was something he usually did.  
But today was not a usual day. He had actually struggled to look normal, indifferent, while sitting with the others, when he had most of the time wanted to spring up from the sofa and shout out of frustration.  
He didn't know why. Or, to tell the truth, he did know the reason, but why it did disturb him so much was something else.  
Because it was just stupid.  
He was stupid. And pathetic.

Why had he even expected anything else? Just because they had had a heart-to-heart talk with Lance did not mean that anything changed. Of course the other wouldn't remember it, because it had been nothing special.

But still the thought didn't leave Keith alone. That he had wanted Lance to remember. That the moment had meant something to him.

He didn't let people get close to himself easily. It had taken him some time to trust Shiro completely. And when the other had disappeared into space, it had been like he was back to square one. But Shiro had come back. All had happened so fast, and suddenly Keith was a Paladin of Voltron with the others.

The things he had said to Lance, he had meant them with all his heart. Normally they were both so stubborn that they wouldn't reveal their feelings in a million years. But that moment had crackled Keith's walls, and he had let the pieces fall to the ground. He had felt the connection between them and it had been a different kind than with Shiro.

The thought of losing Lance had been frightening. But now that Lance wasn't in danger anymore, the affection and fondness still stayed.  
Lance had reached out for him, had made Keith want more of the bond they shared, and then backed out.  
The connection was gone, and Keith felt so empty inside. It was hard to try to fit the fallen pieces back to their places.

***

It was a pretty quiet week after that. The Galra stayed away and most of the time was spent with contacting possible allies and planning the next move. Even though Pidge was mostly buried behind her laptop like always, the other Paladins had more free time than who knows when.

It should have been nice. Keith wasn't so sure about that.  
There was only that much time he could spend training, otherwise he didn't really know what to do. If he was with the other Paladins, it was very likely that Lance would show up sooner or later. And he didn't want to see Lance.

Keith felt like if he got too close to Lance, he would explode. All that was swirling inside his mind would get out, and that would be a catastrophe. He would be a joke to the other.  
He would not let Lance know how he was feeling.  
Maybe with time everything would go back to how it was, and he would forget too.

But for now, the only way he knew how to handle the situation was avoiding Lance.

***

Finally, the Galra started a counterattack.  
The previous day had been spent helping planet Yaitera's inhabitants to build their defense system and fix a couple of other things. The job was not finished when the Paladins went to bed, tired.

It was still an early morning, and everyone was in their rooms when the Castle's alarms went off.  
"Everyone, Galra Cruiser is closing in on us, we need Voltron!" echoed Allura's voice from the loudspeakers all around the Castle-ship.

Keith was quickly out of his room, cursing aloud while running. He would have welcomed the attack, if only they had been in the middle of nowhere in space. But now they were on the planet where the battle would harm many innocents.

Keith didn't really register where he was running, just that he needed to get to Red. He snapped out of his thoughts only when he collided with something and stumbled to the ground.  
"What the heck?" asked a voice angrily.  
Keith felt a thrill go through his body.

He had quite successfully avoided Lance the previous days that now when the other boy was in front of him – or beneath him because Keith had knocked them both over – so suddenly, he felt paralyzed. He could do nothing but stare Lance until the other grew inpatient.  
"Keith, if I'm not wrong, we are both in a hurry, so could you please let me stand up?"  
Keith almost jumped to his feet while mumbling:  
"Sorry…"  
He didn't look at Lance when the other got up too, but they continued their journey to the lions together.

***

It was already a full chaos when they flew out. Coran had already activated the particle barrier, so the Castle of Lions hadn't taken any real damage yet, but the enemy was firing lasers at the still unprotected planet too.  
"Okay guys, we have to handle this quickly before they do too much damage", Shiro informed. "Form Voltron!"

They flew in the formation and the five lions merged into one.  
"Hey, can you feel that too, there's something…" Hunk started, but couldn't continue further, because the Voltron rattled before it disbanded, and the lions flew apart.  
"Whoa, what was that?" asked Lance when everyone got stabilized.  
"Something disturbed us from keeping Voltron alive. It was like some kind of wall of emotions. Like someone… Oh."  
Pidge grew silent and didn't continue.  
There was a moment of uncertain silence until they realized they were in the middle of the battle and Siro took the lead again.  
"We just need to get by without Voltron. The lions should be enough."  
The others agreed in unison before they got to work.

***

It wasn't an easy battle, but nobody got badly hurt. They landed on Yaitera to inspect the damage the nearly finished defense system had taken and to soothe the still panicking people. Allura had, too, left the Castle of Lions, wanting to talk to the chief.

They landed the lions on the city square and got out of them. Allura had taken a ride with Pidge.  
The princess watched sorrowfully at the still smoking buildings and sighted.  
"Seems like we have much work to do. And look at all these people, how scared they are. Zarkon will pay for this!" she declared.  
"I'm not so sure that every one of them is scared…" said Pidge, glaring at the group of girls that had managed to surround Lance completely.

"You were so brave to defend us from those horrible Galra", one of the girls chirped.  
"Yes, why didn't you tell us that you were so good with your lion?"  
"I can do anything if it's for you", said Lance. And then he winked.  
Pidge made a face.

The Green Paladin walked towards his other friends who had nearly convinced the remaining Yaiterans that they were once again safe and told them that the building of the defense system would continue the next day.

After a while, Lance joined the others with a smug smile still on his face. Not all of his fan group had chosen to leave but had decided to continue watching the Paladins from further away.  
"Where's Keith?" asked Hunk suddenly when he noticed that they weren't all there.  
Everyone looked around, waiting to see him somewhere close, but no.  
"His lion is gone", Shiro pointed out a little regretfully. How had he managed to miss that?  
"What does he think he is doing?" Lance huffed. "You know, I would have shared some of my fans if he had just asked."  
Nobody seemed impressed by that comment.  
"Well, there's not much we can do right now, we could all use a little rest after the battle."  
"Yes, go ahead. I can handle the situation down here", Allura reassured Shiro.

When the group were about to split up, some of them were still a little concerned.  
"I'll talk to him", Shiro said before climbing inside the Black Lion.  
"Good. I know someone who would need a little talk, too", Pidge nodded. Hunk had an understanding expression on his face.

***

Shiro wasn't at all surprised when he found Keith on the training deck in the middle of a fighting scene. He watched from the side how the Red Paladin mashed the bots one after another with his sword, sometimes avoiding flying lasers with a shield or just by throwing himself to the ground out of the way.

Finally, one of the lasers grazed Keith, making him fail the exercise. Shiro raised his eyebrows, because it had seemed like a really easy one to dodge.  
Someone else would have thought that Keith was just getting tired, but he saw that there was something else too.

Keith crashed down on the floor, his back against the wall, to catch his breath. He continued to breathe hard, face downcast, when Shiro sat beside him.  
They didn't talk for a while.

"What's wrong?"  
Shiro opened his mouth when he felt that it was no use to avoid the situation any longer. He didn't look at Keith when he asked that, wanting to give the other boy some space nonetheless.  
Keith grunted dismissively, standing up to flex after the tough workout.  
"Nothing."  
"I can see that." There was a hint of humor in Shiro's voice. He still wanted an actual answer though, and Keith knew that.  
"Don't worry, I get over this. It won't interfere with my job again."

Keith hoped that it was good enough answer for Shiro. There was no need to involve the other in this mess, he would take care of it himself.  
"Talk to him."  
Keith stopped in the middle of flexing his left arm and froze awkwardly in his place. He felt like his whole face was heating up. He hadn't thought that he had been that obvious.  
"No."  
"Keith…"

He didn't want to have this conversation. Not with Shiro, not with anyone. If Shiro had noticed, who else had? Keith had let the situation slip out of his control.

He had thought that he could handle it, handle his own emotions. Yes, he had not always done a perfect job with that, for example when he had punched his classmate when the other had talked bad about Keith's parents, or with the scene he had made which had finally gotten him kicked out from the Garrison. About the latter, he was not sorry, because he had been right to not trust the Garrison's lies about Shiro. Actually, he was not so sorry about the first one either.

But he had grown up after that, and being the Defenders of the Universe was hard enough job as itself that his emotions would not keep him from doing what he had to and what was right. 

But Keith hadn’t been prepared for what it would mean to form Voltron again. Uniting as one made them all connect deeply, allowed them to understand each other in the heat of battle without really speaking aloud. 

When they had merged as Voltron, the feeling of Lance being emotionally so close to him, even though it was not how he really wanted it to happen, had made Keith react so intensely, that the Voltron hadn’t endured it. 

Shiro stood up and stepped next to Keith, placing his hand on the Red Paladin's shoulder. It was such a familiar gesture.  
"You know you can trust me, right?"  
Keith laughed a little, out of frustration. To someone else he would have lied. But Shiro looked so understanding, so kind.  
And yes, he trusted him.  
"It's just… What if he rejects me? If I only make things worse?"  
Keith felt his voice shaking.

Shiro hummed a bit while thinking what to say, not wanting to scare Keith by being silent too long.  
"I know it can be scary to open up to people", he finally started, "but he's your friend. Try to trust him, too."  
Keith looked up to meet Shiro's reassuring smile. He hadn't suddenly turned confident, yet he nodded.  
"I'll think about it."

***

Lance was taking it easy, lying on the sofa in the lounge when Hunk and Pidge strolled inside. Lance didn't give them much attention before he started to think that they were unnaturally silent. He glanced them when they were sitting down, then groaned aloud.  
"I don't like that look on your face, Pidge."  
"What look?" the smaller Paladin asked, but her voice revealed that she knew exactly what the other meant.  
"That you feel sorry for me but are going to give a lecture anyway."  
"That was quite right to the point."

Lance shifted his gaze to his best friend, which he hadn't expected to join this kind of conversation, and sat up.  
"Hunk, not you too."  
Hunk just shrugged, letting the other continue.

Pidge took a better posture, fixed his eyes on Lance, and started:  
"What's going on with you and Keith? What did you do?"  
Lance startled when he heard the questions. Quickly, he regained his composure, yet narrowed his eyes a little.  
"Keith? Why do you think I did anything?"  
"He acts weird mostly when you are around"; Pidge stated straightforwardly.  
"He acts always weird…" Lance tried to argue but didn't sound so convincing.  
Hunk seemed really apologetic when he pushed on.  
"Sorry Lance, but we can't just sit and watch when it's starting to affect Voltron, too."

Now Lance felt really confused.  
"What do you mean 'affect Voltron'?" This topic had come out of nowhere.  
Pidge didn't look very happy.  
"Just today we failed to form Voltron, if you don't remember."  
"And you say that was my fault? I don't even know what happened!"  
Lance threw his hands in the air to demonstrate how he felt.  
Then he collapsed back to a lying position, a bit irritated.  
"We all felt it, Lance." Pidge didn't let him get out of it so easily.  
"What do you… Wait!" Lance sprang up once again. "Do you mean, that was Keith's…"  
"Yeah, we think so", Hunk admitted.

The room grew silent. Pidge and Hunk watched quietly at Lance who had buried his head in his hands, lost in thoughts.  
"I don't know! I…"  
Lance didn't continue after that.

Pidge stood up and exhaled tiredly. She prepared to walk out, but not before a final advice.  
"We'll leave you alone for now, so you can think… But please, fix this."  
Lance peeked behind his hands and smiled a little.  
"Yeah, I will. Thanks…"  
Hunk wanted to cheer on his friend but didn't know how to, so he settled for a trusting 'We believe in you, Lance', before exiting.

The Blue Paladin didn't move from the room for a while.

***

Lance kept thinking what to do through the day. It was like he could suddenly remember clearly the moments when Keith had acted weird but couldn't really pinpoint when it had started. Had he tried too hard to ignore it? And it was so overwhelming to try to get the grasp of the bubble of emotions they had felt inside the Voltron.

He almost skipped dinner, not wanting to face the other Paladins. It would have been so awkward to sit in the same room with Keith, knowing there were secrets the other tried to keep hidden behind his cracking composure and that everybody was aware of the silent tension between them.

Luckily it seemed like everyone tried to avoid each other, or it was just a pure coincidence that when Lance finally wandered to the kitchen, it was comfortably empty.

He ate in silence, then decided to get early sleep. Yawning, Lance walked towards the sleeping quarters of the Castle-ship.

Suddenly a figure turned a corner and nearly collided with Lance, but the boy was so startled to see anyone after being that long alone, that he managed to jump aside.  
"Hey there, number three! Tomorrow is a busy day, make sure you get a plenty of sleep."  
Lance smiled a little.  
"Yeah, I will. Night, Coran."  
Coran nodded, already thinking something else, and continued on his way.  
When Lance reached his room, he jumped straight into bed.

He felt so exhausted. The battle, things that Pidge and Hunk had said, thoughts of Keith himself, all swirled inside his head in a never-ending cycle.  
All he wanted to do was to fall asleep and just stop thinking.

But he couldn't.  
It was not for lack of trying. He lay on his bed eyes closed, moved repeatedly to a more comfortable position, counted the sheep, listened to some relaxing music, and tested a few more different methods, until after two hours he sprung frustrated out of his bed.  
"Dammit…"

Lance didn't feel quite ready for it, but being the only idea he still had, he put his lion slippers on and left the warm room. Only minutes later he found himself staring at Keith's door.

"Here we go…" Lance muttered aloud and knocked on the door. There was a moment of silence, after the echo of the knocking sound in the dim hallway had already faded, when Lance struggled to battle the urge to just turn around and run back to his own room.

But then there was a noise and Keith's head popped into view from the doorway.  
Lance managed to gather a small smile.  
"Hey, can we…"  
Keith slammed the door shut.

Lance blinked. And blinked again. Then it hit him what had just happened.  
"Keith! Don't you dare!" Lance shouted, not so loudly that the whole Castle-ship would come running, only enough that Keith would hear him, and banged the door a few times.

Keith opened the door again, more slowly this time.  
"Are you really that opposed to talking to me?" Lance asked, feeling mortified.  
"Sorry, it was a reflex…"  
Keith actually looked sorry, so Lance believed him.  
And when the Red Paladin waved him to come in, the minimal light of hope jumped back to life inside Lance.  
"Okay, that is quite like you."  
He almost immediately regretted his choice of words when he saw Keith's back tense.  
But with a huff, the other pushed the comment aside and waited until Lance quickly reached the bed and sat on it. Keith himself stayed upright and leaned against the wall, arms crossed.

"So, what did you want to talk about? Training? Your beauty routines? Those girls on the surface?"  
Keith added the last thing just too casually. And didn't look at Lance.

Lance's mood fell once again. This wasn't going to be easy. But he was not going to give up, either.  
"That can't be the only reason you're mad at me."  
Keith flinched and looked a little sad.  
"I'm not mad at you."

Lance hadn't actually expected a direct explanation, but it made him angry that Keith was trying to avoid the problem so badly.  
"Don't lie to me. I'm not stupid." He couldn't keep his voice as calm as he had wanted to, and he had unknowingly clenched his both hands into fists.  
"I know you're not." There was some strange nuance in the Red Paladin's voice. "But I'm not angry. Not at you."  
He took a short glance at the other boy, and to Lance it felt like Keith was looking straight into his mind. It made him feel uncomfortably vulnerable, but he couldn't turn his eyes off from the stare.  
"So, what is it, then? I can't make it better if you don't tell me."  
It was Keith who broke the connection first.  
"You don't need to…"

It was instinctive. But it had seemed like Keith was shutting him out. If he would not reach him now, it would be too late.  
Lance sprang up from the bed and closed the distance between them.  
The movement scared Keith and he tried to back out, but the wall was already right behind him, so he couldn't prevent Lance from grabbing his wrist.  
"Please, Keith."

The silence spread to the room while Keith kept looking at their joined hands. He was visibly trembling.  
Lance tried to pull Keith towards the bed, and to his relief the other didn't protest.

They sat down next to each other. Lance let go of Keith's hand, but kept the proximity. He waited patiently until Keith opened his mouth.  
"When you were injured… To see you like that, it just hit me how important you are. Not just for the team, but to me. And… I was afraid that I'd lose you."  
The genuine sadness turned into a small, melancholy smile.  
"I like you. But all we normally do is argue. It's like we can't help it."  
Keith laughed a bit. But he continued before Lance could interrupt him.

"I knew that you're not as confident as you like us to believe. But I didn't say anything before because you would have hated me for that.  
But that situation was different. And even though I would not repeat it, it made me feel closer to you. I was allowed to be there for you. I just wanted to make you happy. And I hoped that it would change something… between us."  
Lance opened his mouth to answer, but Keith gave him a sharp look that made him decide otherwise.  
"But then you didn't remember it. And… it hurt, Lance. You were there, but not for me anymore. But you know, I don't blame…" Keith's voice cracked.

This time Lance couldn't stay silent anymore.  
"Actually… I did remember." It was unusually hard to get the words out.  
"What?" Keith's question was like a sharp breath. He was now fully turned towards Lance, looking confused like he hadn't really understood what the other had said.  
"I remember."

When the words finally seemed to sink in, Lance felt like his own heart was being ripped in two by the sadness that was overtaking Keith. At the same time, he realized what his words were implying to the other.  
"No, don't take me wrong!" Lance rushed to correct. He waved his hands dismissively before hesitantly touching Keith's shoulder.  
Now it was the other's turn to listen.

"I liked it. Not the pain of course. But to hear you say those things, see that side of you that you usually hide. And to have you close to me."  
"Then why did you lie?"  
"I thought you were making fun of me…"  
When Keith looked like he didn't understand at all what the other was talking about, Lance felt very insecure and blushed a little.  
"You know, when I came out from the cryo-pod, Hunk said that you had told them…"  
The realization crept to Keith.  
"Not about that! Only… I only asked them that they wouldn't scold you. You would not have deserved that. I didn't tell anything else."  
Lance's hand fell limp back into his lap.  
"Thanks…"

It felt not worthy enough way to tell Keith how he appreciated what he had done. Lance had really read the situation wrong. When Keith had only tried to be kind and looked out for Lance in his own way, he had swept the kindness away with a decision based on doubt. That had been unintentionally, but the fact that the misunderstanding had pushed them this far, he felt still partly guilty of.

"I'm sorry that I reacted like that. I was just… afraid. And I'm sorry, that I didn't talk to you earlier. I realized some time ago that something was troubling you, but I just kept telling myself that it had nothing to do with me."  
Keith hummed as a sign of forgiveness. Lance felt like he could breathe more easily. Keith looked like he could, too. The small smile was more genuine.

"Why did you decide otherwise today? Did Shiro talk to you too?" Keith asked curiously.  
"Pidge and Hunk did, actually", Lance smirked, planning on thanking his other friends later. "You got a Dad Talk from Shiro?"  
Keith nodded and laughed at Lance's choice of words. He was right, though. But the answer made him think something awkward.  
"Did everyone notice?"  
"Well…" Lance prolonged the revelation, "you kind of disassembled Voltron…"

Keith groaned and threw himself under the blanket, hiding from the embarrassment.  
"Aww, don't hide from me", Lance grinned.  
When he didn't get any answer, he ended up tickling Keith from the sides. The other screamed and tried to kick Lance. Luckily the Blue Paladin didn't continue it too long or Keith would have killed him eventually.  
Instead Lance settled down and gathered courage to a final confession.  
"I like you, Keith. If you still want, if you still give me a chance…"  
Lance left the end of the sentence hanging in the air. He watched anxiously how Keith slowly appeared from his hiding place, black hair in a mess.

The final reaching out.  
Lance took carefully Keith's hand in his own. The hand was a little cold, and it seemed to tremble a bit, although Lance couldn't be sure that it wasn't his own hand that was shaking.  
When Keith didn't withdraw, Lance dared to reveal the suggestion he was keeping inside.  
"I could make you happy, too."

Keith nodded just slightly and was squeezing Lance's hand like he would disappear any time soon.  
Lance gave a laugh, taking his free hand to run it through Keith's messy hair.  
Keith answered to the touch with leaning forward until their foreheads were touching. He had closed his eyes, too emotional to concentrate on anything else than the touches he was receiving. He had energy to only whisper the words, but that was enough.  
"Don't ever let me go."  
Lance answered with a promise he knew the other was familiar with.  
"You know I'll take care of you."

Later that night the Red and Blue Paladins were fast asleep in the same bed, closely hugging each other.


End file.
